Stand out from the crowd! Oh, er, hello. Matilda quotes are certainly quotable for movie fans. [Matilda uses her powers to slam her bedroom door in Harry's face just as he reaches it]. The chances of existence almost infinitely small. Five times two is ten. A member of the mafia! What was my profit for the day? A spotlight searches the theater. 'Twas written in the stars before they even met. At night, they listened to the silence of their big, empty house, and they would imagine how beautiful it would be if it was filled with the sound of a child playing. 5. Chew your food; you're an animal! MR WORMWOOD grabs his suitcase and exits along with the lackey. MISS TRUNCHBULL Or even two, Bruce, "Come with me, and I'll show you why it's called the Shrieking Shack.". It's the female minor. But to me, they tell a deeper story. You are going to march in there and give them a piece of your mind. Everyone is born, but not everyone is born the same. Check it if you don't believe me. Best dirty pick-up lines 1. These are the best hilarious pick up lines we've got, so if you can manage a decent delivery, you've got great odds you'll have her smirking, smiling, laughing, and eager to get closer. . Mustn't let a little thing like "little" stop you. Miss Trunchbull, I was the one who was at your house last night, and I think Agatha Trunchbull: I have all these extra. You? With powers, the carrot flies into his mouth. And therefore, she is guilty! I didn't, I was on the garage roof. Matilda: They're like insects: they should be got rid of as early as possible. "You Must Be Worried Now That Donald Trump is President Because He Would Deport You Back to Heaven." The most precious gift the natural world can bestow upon us has been handed to you. so our main focus is on cute pickup lines, funny pick up lines, cheesy pick up lines, corny pickup lines, clever pickup lines, bad pick up lines, worst pick up lines, sweet pickup lines, and this list is . No, no, no, no [ad lib. Of course you didn't do it, you little twit! Jenny: From offstage, MISS TRUNCHBULL blows on her whistle. Harry Wormwood, owner, founder, whatever. MR WORMWOOD exits while MATILDA runs into her bedroom, flings the door open, and climbs onto her bookshelf. MISS TRUNCHBULL hurries over to AMANDA. <>/ExtGState<>/ProcSet[/PDF/Text/ImageB/ImageC/ImageI] >>/MediaBox[ 0 0 612 792] /Contents 4 0 R/Group<>/Tabs/S/StructParents 0>>
[Jenny knocks on Ms. Trunchbull's door] [suspicious] He rips out several pages and throws them dramatically on the ground. I don't know what you're talking about. Damn girl, I think I need a Parlyz Heal, Because you're stunning. Did you hear what we said? It's just pathetic! MRS PHELPS Oh, my hair! Indeed, sir. Can't you sell good cars, Dad? Being funny or clever can also help your chances of success. Harry Wormwood: I'm not hinting, but if you did happen to have a story you wanted . MISS HONEY I'm gonna give you a tanning like you never had in your life! If I were a cat I'd spend all 9 lives with you. Dosvedoo-dah. Eventually, they quieten down, but LAVENDER continues to jump up in down next to MATILDA, who is reading. LAVENDER DOCTOR I don't know if my nerves will make it until tomorrow. I need to talk to SOMEBODY besides our stupid kids! BIG KIDS Harry Wormwood: She exits, not before scratching her behind and wiping her nose. Harry Wormwood: The children begin to pop up from behind the table and speak. I slave all day, and you're entertaining a couple of surfer dude bodybuilders! MISS HONEY hurries to pull the cap from NIGEL's mouth. Yes, sir. Considerably roomier inside. What was my profit for the day? Before I first heard the pealing of the bell. RUDOLPHO . . Don't be pathetic! Another flaming book? What about me, then? One look at my face and it's plain to see. Matilda: Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord, Oh! The CHILDREN reach out from behind the gate as the BIG KIDS carry them away. Take another picture of our angel from this angle over here. You have a worm, Oh, yes. Trunchbull: But she is a squib. You really don't know anything, do you? Smells chocolatey, eh? Mum says I'm an angel sent down from the sky! RUDOLPHO 1. Is a miracle! The first car your brilliant father sold cost $320. [to Michael, who is choking on a carrot Matilida shot at his mouth with her powers] All the while, AMANDA's screams get louder. It's going to be brilliant! . 2 0 obj
You couldn't spell "difficulty" if your life depended on it. Dirty dealings, like buying stolen car parts, never stay secret for long, especially when the FBI gets involved. MATILDA I can! A long table with the word "Birthday" emblazoned on it moves forward, with little hands creeping along the bottom. Thought you'd pay me back, didn't you? celebrities! I hope you know CPR, because you are taking my breath away. Amanda Thripp: Erm, well, as you know, Matilda is in the bottom class. Any children who object will go straight into the Chokey together! Your mommy is a TWIT! I'll be watching you, each and every one. . MR WORMWOOD A NURSE is holding a baby, which cries. MR WORMWOOD MISS HONEYbeckons MATILDA to the back of the class. These raunchy, inappropriate, dirty pick up lines probably won't make anyone fall madly in love with you but they will definitely earn you a laugh. MISS HONEY You finally matched with someone who feels like a genuine person, exactly your cup of tea, but breaking the ice can be tough for us introverted fellows. It's very quaint, it's very sweet, [tosses the cereal in the air] You want Matilda to go to college? [They start chattering. Yes. . MISS HONEY enters and turns away in shock. MISS HONEY When she was just two years old, her mother died. Eleven times two is twenty-two. Matilda: And . Jenny: MISS TRUNCHBULL And I say that criminals like you are not full until you have eaten the entire cake. MR WORMWOOD enters, puffing on a cigarette. MR WORMWOOD Do you think I faltered or amended my rotation? Very supple. [He slides down on his thighs stage left.]. I told you I was supposed to start school in September. MRS WORMWOOD "Just when I catch my breath, you turn around and make me lose it again." Any woman would be flattered with a remark like this. Just get on your feet, Jenny. What? One second, Dad. Agatha Trunchbull: Oh no, Headmistress. That's not fair! Just because you find that life's not fair, it It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me. Everybody loves a little something exotic. Well, Matilda Wormwood. He drops it again. Three judges hold up signs reading "10" as MRS WORMWOOD sits on the table. My mummy says I'm a miracle, . She's got no respect, that one. Miss Honey: No kid likes being yelled at. . Did I let myself go. MATILDA Dr. Seuss Pick Up Lines. One hundred and fifty-five brand new luxury cars, sir. . She taught us with a poem. Suddenly, out came the Escapologist, dressed as usual in his tights and spangly costume. ;)Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE to our. MR WORMWOOD unwraps the blanket that the baby is swathed in. Knock on the door, Jenny. MR WORMWOOD and MICHAEL exit. MATILDA and the ACROBAT'S SISTER [off-stage] FBI Agent Bob: Green hair? No one's gonna tell you when to shake your tush. RUDOLPHO enters from behind a gap in the curtain behind her. He takes it and squashes it firmly down onto his head. WOMAN: And insightful. I'm not in favor of girls getting all clever-pants, Miss Hussy. Oh, yes. You listen here, my dear, It was the worst of times. And as time passed, they grew quite old, and still they had no child. . This clot, this foul carbuncle is none other than a disgusting criminal! Here. Sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty! Hanging down by your ears. Miss Jennifer 'Jenny' Honey: Matilda, you promised you wouldn't go back into that house. You should read it. What we all suspected. Two times . What have I told you about wearing pigtails? It's not trash, Daddy, it's lovely. Oh, that's where it's at! [she shoves Jenny out of her office and slams the door after her]. MISS HONEY is browsing the stacks. Ha, ha, ha, ha Harry Wormwood: I'd love to read to you some time. Where are the children's books? My daddy says I'm his special little . She holds up the final "10". Stand back, son! The DOCTOR, MR WORMWOOD, and a male nurse enter. MISS HONEY Not dressed in hospital cotton, What a dear! Harry Wormwood: MISS HONEY If anything, caution in these situations is sensible. Didn't we? No one's gonna tell you when to wiggle your bumba. The scene unfreezes. Oh, my good Lord! A little less brains, a lot more hair. MATILDA MRS WORMWOOD When I look in your eyes, I see a very kind soul. The chances of existence almost infinitely small. But it's a truth empirical Ev-er-y life is unbelievably unlikely. The group sets off party poppers down the line. MISS HONEY, dazed, follows the dance as best she can. Agatha Trunchbull: It's your father who's going to federal prison. . . I can see we're not going to agree, are we? ACT 1. MISS HONEY If you cooperate, we'll make sure it's a nice orphanage. WOMAN: She's just delightful. You know, sometimes I think there's something wrong with that girl. Agatha Trunchbull: [after Matilda destroys the Wormwoods' TV with her powers] MATILDA holds her a dramatic pose, holding the large book above her head. Oh, of course. This boy's got no fingie. We've curated this list of inspiring 'Matilda' quotes from the book and the movie. I'm not crying because it's sad. MISS HONEY MISS HONEY turns and sees MISS TRUNCHBULL watching various video screens playing footage of her Olympic games while an announcer narrates dimly in the background. MRS PHELPS You have to stay inside the circle all the time. I want you around here now with another car! COUPLE 2 He screams and turns around, hitting ERIC's cap against ERIC's desk. MISS TRUNCHBULL Is the first word . Am I . A wonderful new person is about to come into your life to bring love, and magic, and happiness, and wonder! Good-bye, Mrs Phelps. 13. School? google_color_border="EDC7C2"; Great, big, strong, scary woman she is. Hmm. More than one. MISS TRUNCHBULL grabs AMANDA by the pigtails and swings her around and around. I'm sure you'd , MR WORMWOOD MATILDA The Lord of the Rings . Pp6Q &_!Ekp?$w_AG[nU6v^^Wo:9o>:. MISS TRUNCHBULL A baby, Mrs Wormwood. Bambinatum! [He tries and fails to pull his hat off, tugging on it several times.] Just because you find that life's not fair, it Smile for mother! DOCTOR I always compete, doctor. MATILDA picks up various bottles from the vanity and reads from their labels. She re-enters carrying two square blocks, one larger than the other. Get up, get up, get out of here, give me that book. Mrs. F-F-I. And you may sit and read while I teach the others, and, well, if you have any questions, I shall do my best to answer them. Where are you going? Yes, sir. BACKGROUND SINGERS [She takes a mirror from the armchair.] Dinner time is family time. A little less dressing like your mum. Matilda's been here all morning. What do I have to do to gain respect around here? Harry Wormwood: ALICE and HORTENSIA If you want to throw the hammer for your country. This miracle . Why? No. You can't. Why would you want green hair? You might as well be saying you think that it's okay, And then, my great, big, beautiful chocolate-y burp, which now seemed to have a mind of its own, wafted full into the face of the Trunchbull! You're just wasting enerGy, MATILDA said the wife, smiling sadly and slipping her hand into his. And . Of course they didn't believe me: I've got green hair! You wouldn't beat them in a race! . If you want to throw the hammer for your country, Cancelled, because my wife is . DOCTOR and CHILDREN The scene switches to the Wormwood's living room. NIGEL A man in business simply cannot fail to get noticed when he looks like this. The reason the mileage is so high is a manufacturing mistake.". I've been trapped inside this (K) cage for ages, Whoa! MATILDA You've gotta learn to listen up, kid. Matilda: BRUCE You've never set foot in a library. Zinnia Wormwood: A few! Back before my life had ended, Mrs. Wormwood: Restores my faith in human kind. These books gave Matilda a hopeful and comforting message: You are not alone." Roald Dahl, Matilda tags: books , literature , reading , words And so it was, they decided to perform the most dangerous feat ever known to man! CHILDREN 1 Matilda, 4 Years: She just picked him up, swung him around, and threw him out the . All grown-ups get scared, just like children. And this . A child. That such frequent miracles don't render each one un-miraculous? Matilda: Like, why is there a "d" in "fridge" but . I didn't do anything! That's not normal for a five-year-old. Miss Honey: She daintily reaches up and captures a figurine of a woman throwing the hammer.]. It was like the entire world went silent for that burp to exist. MAN: Don't put honey on your brother. A really strong stomach. Back before my life had eNded, WOMAN: That's right, honey. Harry Wormwood: . Don't tell me. This is one of the best pick up lines to use after you have hugged someone for the first time. endobj
With an owchie . But that's not fair! That's not right. MRS WORMWOOD MATILDA Lavender? This one was mine. off to prison you both shall go!". My, my, that is good. Yes, sir. "Right"? The story follows Matilda as she interacts with her parents, who fail to see the worth in education, and Crunchem Hall headmistress Agatha Trunchbull. . My skin looks just revolting in this foul, fluorescent light. Narrator: The guy with the stupid haircut! MISS HONEY steps away from MATILDA as MISS TRUNCHBULL enters by the blackboard. AAAAAHHHHH! What are you waiting for? Yes! Matilda: Each newborn life a canvas yet unpainted, Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it. AMANDA and ERIC . Mrs. C, Mrs. U, Mrs. L-T-Y! That lady? . [off to the side] And it's made of spikes and wood. Matilda, that . MATILDA pauses for several moments, holding the dolls in front of her contemplatively. Harry Wormwood: Yes, Miss Trunchbull! 2. The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, Over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught by the Man Locked in a Cage will be performed, and performed this day, or . Even if you're little, you can do a lot. The desks descend into the ground. Harry Wormwood: MISS TRUNCHBULL [She takes MATILDA by the wrist and leads her to ERIC's desk.] Think of the possibilities.". The 3rd cost $68. Mr. Wormwood. MISS TRUNCHBULL No one is as handsome, strong as me. The tiniest mite packs the mightiest sting. MRS PHELPS The cook enters, holding an enormous chocolate cake on a tray, along with a wooden spoon. BIG KID [TAMIKA] google_color_link="000000"; Isn't there something you can do? Me, me, me, me. Zinnia Wormwood: Okay, my boy, heir to the throne, today we diddle the customer. DOCTOR 21. I didn't do it. In a manner of speaking, yes. His fingie. She seems not to know that she's special at all. Than the volume with which what you don't know's expressed. Overall, the best pickup line is one that is creative and original. There's never been a miracle, a miracle, a miracle Is like the TARDIS: Excellent man. They never stood a chance. Then suddenly, the audience jumped to its feet and roared in appreciation! MATILDA MISS HONEY knocks three times and winces. And good luck with the Tolstoy. I mean . A fool? Oh, no, Matilda. [She stands and approaches MISS HONEY menacingly, towering over her.] Not even when the hammer left my hands The Birthday table is wheeled back in by other children. Yes, your teacher. Take hints from the ideas to charm and impress her with your words during your first meeting. Matilda: A DOCTOR enters. BIG KIDS And if you want to teach success, Jenny : Quite the contrary. Why would she want some snotty, disobedient kid? Did I drift off and dream for a minute or two? A little less flat, a lot more heel. (Bruce!) 2. Narrator: Don't let her win. LAVENDER Harry Wormwood: I'd love to meet her, actually . [reciting the words as Matilda magically writes them on the blackboard] [asked to sign Matilda's adoption papers]. An idiot? What car? . That's the biggest lie I've ever heard. I am *not* seven years old anymore, Aunt Trunchbull! A person. Yeah! MR WORMWOOD 4 0 obj
No one like a smart-mouthed girl like me. They're cops, Dad. Miss Honey: 3. 2. According to a constitutional law book that I read in the library, if you don't have one, you could lose your job or even go to federal prison. You show the little brat! He's fantastic! Oh . [as the TV explodes, due to Matilda's powers] You're off to school in a few days' time. But Harry's ranting and raving gave Matilda the key to her power. Yes. This calls for a proper smoke. Leave it alone, Jenny. MISS HONEY Don't take me to Chokey! Yes, Miss Trunchbull. I'll say! You make money? What do you want, Miss Chutney? Has incredible upper-body strength. (Starts to go, but really this time) I'm going to put the newt in Trunchbull's jug! Well? Pathetic, little me. Matilda : I wonder what Miss Trunchbull is afraid of. Before I first heard the Pealing of the bell. LAVENDER MRS WORMWOOD This boy, Bruce Bogtrotter, is none other than a vicious sneak thief! That's all right, Jenny. . Do you have a job? MISS HONEY . Go fig-ueur! The world's greatest acrobat! A flaming escapologist? What poem would that be? The boy's a looney. [snatching the book from Matilda and tears the pages out of the cover]. ], MISS HONEY Agatha Trunchbull: He stands up on a block. Do you need a sin for your next confession? When I grow up, (When I grow up, when I grow up) I will be strong enough to carry all The heavy things you have to haul Around with you When you're a grown up And when I grow up, [She re-enters her bedroom and jumps onto the bed.] Kim . The time has come to put that tumbly-tum to use. They were left out there for the whole world to see because you weren't here to take 'em in! It must be wonderful for a child to be so wanted. . I'll come back later, then. [Harry walks down to the kitchen, unaware that his hair has just turned an unhealthy platinum blonde] So, erm . MATILDA starts pouring the hair dye into the Oil of Violets bottle. MISS HONEY Just knock on the door. . You can be all cynical, . Merriam-Webster defines a "pick-up line" as "a prepared remark used by a person to start a conversation with a stranger they are interested in having a romantic relationship with". Keep out of reach of children. Agatha Trunchbull, principal, Crunchem Hall Elementary School. Nothing will change.