It may work for a coworker or friend who has lost their spouse. Sleep is a basic bodily need, and lack of it can take a person down in no time. is the best and appropriate choice. Below, well use this concept in offering messages for the loss of a child. Responding to a Clients Note of Appreciation, Addressing a Former President of the United States, Complete Guide to Writing Thank You Notes, Attire Guide: Dress Codes from Casual to White Tie, Five Tips for Looking Crisp and Keeping Cool in the Workplace, How to Help When Someone is in the Hospital, Definition of Etiquette - Consideration, Respect and Honesty, Wedding Etiquette 101: Everything You Need to Know. You and your wife are well poised to take over your family. Harper San Francisco. They cannot visit the family shrine and are not allowed to enter any sacred place, such as a temple. Finding the proper way to express condolences can be difficult. Many make allowances for the cremation to take place but the Hindu funeral rites may be executed on-site. Support the family with thoughtful and appropriate Hindu sympathy meals, baskets and memorials. people will avoid going to the deceased house. New threads and replies may not be made here. 6. At Hindu funerals, mourners should not wear anything black. This is made worse when people pick the phone up and start talking at the top of their voice as though they were at a party. Everyone in this community respected your father. It would be helpful if someone clarifies regarding the appropriate days to visit the members of bereaved family. There, husbands and wives increasingly share household roles as dual-earners. Often there will be some open visitation for an hour or so just prior to the funeral service. Many people follow thirteen days of. A "shraddha" ceremony. Deciding to stop by at a funeral on the way to a wedding, therefore, can be suicidal. In such situations too, it is helpful to remember that no hospital would knowingly do anything that could harm the patient. This link will open in a new window. She was neatly dressed and even had her hair put up. The bereaved family usually stays home from work for one week following a death. Our expert guidance can make your life a little easier during this time. Any information you provide to Cake, and all communications between you and Cake,
See if you would agree. "Mukhagni" or a cremation ceremony. Don't forget that you can also e-mail your coworker to express your thoughts before you write your condolence note. Friends may call or visit family members of the deceased to offer their condolences upon hearing of the death and may bring flowers to them at that time. In fact, unless we are absolutely certain of the familys religious and spiritual convictions, it is better to avoid the topic altogether, and give them some space instead. It's fine to ask others to share their memories and weave them into your eulogy. A common blunder by well-meaning visitors is to try and compare with their own limited experiences. Good Thinking provides a range of resources to help Londoners improve their mental wellbeing. Those who are emotionally close to the bereaved person may quietly ask How are you and give them a chance to express their feelings. By merely being there, listening and taking care of the details, you'll undoubtedly be a great help to her during this sad time. Dr. Vasudha Narayanan, Professor of Religion at the University of Florida and. The guests should expect to see the body, offer condolences to the bereaved family, and take a seat quietly. Dress appropriately, lose the perfume (and sunglasses). Who else would she like to have involved as eulogists, readers or ushers? (2020). And if you plan on visiting themyoull spend more time in silence rather than offering condolences. This period usually lasts for 10 days. Ask the person who will be officiating at the service for any tips on preparing and delivering a eulogy. Medicine is not an exact science, and the human body is not a machine that has replaceable parts or even an instruction manual. It is not uncommon to hear one person pass a negative remark about the deceased persons character, soon to be joined by other likeminded people who fuel the conversation into a full-fledged debate. But may his soul travel swiftly to the next destination. Weather conditions, circumstances and setting of the funeral, and religious and cultural traditions may affect the choices for clothing made. Here are some thoughts and guidelines when considering a personal visit at the funeral home: Upon arrival, go to the family and express a simple condolence. Your father was a wise man. And while most of the information provided above mixes trust with credible sources, theres such variety to the Hindu culture and faith systems that what works in one scenario may not work in another. However, it is usually the eldest son who presides at the cremation. Also, there may be a Hindu funeral ceremony called shraddha that usually takes place after 10 days from the death. During the ceremony, the last food is offered and flowers are arranged around the body. Saraff, Anjula & Srivastava, Harish. During times of grief, everyone wants to say or do the right thing, the loving thing, the appropriate thing, but it isn't always clear what that is. This may include feelings of shock, sadness, and even guilt. They sit in the first two rows on the left, and after the service they leave, two by two, preceding the casket. Are others going to be speaking about her? On the first anniversary of the death, a memorial event (shraaddha) is held to pay homage to the deceased. With that, parents will often go to great lengths to ensure the success of their families. This link will open in a new window. They can wear open-toe shoes. It is typical for the family to decorate the house with icons of saints, burning incense and a single candle memorializing the deceased. I am sorry for your loss. For some, writing notes is helpful as they work through their grief; for others it is too difficult to get much done for some time. The word hearty means happy and should not be confused with heart-felt. How can people of the Hindu faith be supported when grieving? You are using an out of date browser. If you decide you want to do it, then write your talk from your heart. However, different Hindu groups may have different funeral rituals. There is a Mukhagni ceremony where the family is given one last look at the deceased. If you are a friend of a friend: Send an email or handwritten note at your convenience. Whether we are comfortable with it or not, visiting bereaved families is part of living in society. 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Blaming the family for not doing enough. 10 () . This link will open in a new window. We often hear people say things like Dont be sad, Dont cry, It is all for good, I know how you feel, He is in a better place now in an attempt to provide comfort. During the initial communication with the family or familys representative, the details surrounding the funeral, burial and memorial service may be obtained. That said, its the intent alongside the words that mean the most to nearly anyone. Just as It is all part of Gods plan might not go down well with an atheist, He will soon be reborn into a more beautiful life can be hugely offending to someone who doesnt believe in rebirth. When writing sympathy cards for Hindu loved ones, geography plays a vital role. Everyone has to wear white, including the family members and guests. After you hear about someones death, it is pretty customary to visit the deceased family at their place immediately for offering your sympathy. She may depend on you entirely or she may wish to participate in the planning and have you take care of the details. A Hindu priest is an officiant, who presides over all Hindu funeral rites. Guests may attend the cremation, but if they do not want to, they may depart after the service. That said, if you are thinking about contacting the bereaved or would like to offer your condolences, you should absolutely do so. Bereavement support organisations for all faiths, Useful bereavement resources for health and care professionals, Useful Good Thinking bereavement resources for all faiths. In the Southern state of Tamil Nadu, messaging can go one of two ways when losing a parent. If there is a line waiting to see the family, keep your thoughts and comments brief. Some people in India may denounce being Hindu, but their lifestyle may suggest that they still live like a traditional Hindu. The Spirit cannot be cut, burned, wet, or dried. Mourners customarily choose to wear simple, white clothing to the funeral, although this is not a religious requirement, and a Hindu priest usually leads the prayers. Various worldwide locations connote different customs and norms. This is generally the case with professional colleagues and associates, community and religious organization members, and other acquaintances. We believe reflecting on our mortality can help us lead more meaningful lives. All Rights Reserved. Find the right Emily Post book or greeting card for you. The dos as well as the donts are important. One needs to observe at least 10 to 30 days of mourning. And if you plan on visiting themyou'll spend more time in silence rather than offering condolences. Upon learning of the death of a family member, friend or colleague, it is common to contact a member of the family to express condolences and offer help and assistance. If there is no relationship with the family, introduce yourself and briefly explain your relationship with the deceased. Her startling determination to do exactly the opposite, was amazing.". Why its so easy for Modi to appropriate icons hes opposed to Can you give an appropriate caption for this? Amen. 9. As author Arvind Sharma writes, Hinduism is not a thing; it is a process. He would more or less characterize Hinduism as a method or temperament. I will be attending the funeral of a Hindu colleague. Wearing black or pale shades are just fine unless there are specific protocols in place. Deepest condolence messages very helpful in grief. To upgrade your account, please visit the account upgrades page. Traditionally, the Hindu mourning period ranges from 10 to 30 days. In Hinduism, theres samsarathe continuous cycle of reincarnation. There is a gathering of family and friends who are grieving. In her own time and way, she will start to venture forth more. However, the following brief and simple condolences will let the grieving family know you care: We are sober, we are really sad about his sudden departure, May the Creator accept our prayers on his behalf. We'll help you get your affairs in order and make sure nothing is left out. We cannot give you customized advice on your situation or needs, which would require the service
Someones positive familial and community impact is enough of a statement to their character in and of itself. In Gujarati families, there is a belief that the departed soul rests on the rooftop of the house observing everything for the next 13 days. Your are already subscribed for Malayala Manorama News Letter/Alert. Upon hearing the news of a young woman who died in a car crash, a purported well-wisher arrived at the parents home and declared: What sort of parents would allow a young woman to drive a car alone to work at night? Such words only deepen the pain and guilt that the parents are already suffering. Loss is hard. This reincarnation belief provides the base for Hindu funeral rites. In general, it is never inappropriate to dress in a way that reflects respect and sorrow for the somber moments of mourning a loss. Sometimes, guests also attend this ceremony. Pinterest. The traditions and rites of Hindu funerals may vary. There is a tendency to judge whether the person deserved to die the way he or she did. Flowers play a significant role in Hindu funerals but are used much differently from those in Western funerals. It could be anything from a gift of fooda casserole, a fruit basket, or some brownies for the family and their visitorsto an offer to house out-of-town relatives or friends. (2008). However, they can participate in the chanting of mantras taking place thereafter. During the ceremony, non-Hindus can sit quietly. If you wonder what Hindu funeral traditions are like, they can be different from traditional American funerals, but the core fundamentals remain the same. You have a great responsibility now. He seemed fine when I saw him last week! Did you check her cholesterol? What did the first ECG show? Was he wearing a helmet? When was her last chemo? are but a few examples of such unwarranted questions. You can quickly highlight a friends accomplishments without getting too wordy while acknowledging their belief systemsas a general way of living. It is specifically meant for those who are contemplating visiting a recently bereaved family. APPROPRIATE DAYS TO VISIT BEREAVED FAMILY: BEFORE NOVEMBER 1 OR 2 Just like any other special occasion or celebration, sometimes the best way to visit is the day before the said "peak season." This is to avoid a crowded space and a possible ruckus while visiting. You should not bring flowers to a Hindu funeral. Time spent at the funeral home may vary. For instance, the death of a teenager is perceived differently from that of a 90-year-old. Here, reading 2.20 has been explained. Cremation rituals may vary in different places. Work from your dream country on a remote visa, A peek into where heads of various countries reside across the globe, This Diwali, try our tasty banana pudding recipe, Heal Thy Self | Early warning signs you could be in an abusive relationship, On yoga day, Krishnaprabha is an inspiration. Funerals are emotionally complex, and knowing how to act can present a Its a difficult time, emotions are raw and theres a lot to organize. Everyone one of us was inspired simply by knowing Avindash. I understand that cerain days like Fridays and Saturdays are avoided for such visits. On behalf of this community, I would like to offer our heartfelt condolences and prayers to your entire family. Are you afraid of Sivasankar, court asks Customs; allows five-day custody, Chennai roads inundated as cyclone Nivar triggers intermittent rain, These Kashmiri families are eager to vote in Kerala local body polls, Wanted! If this cultural shift is your cousins history, it might be appropriate to mention that distinction to honor them both after offering condolences.